Keeping prioritising other people’s needs at the expense of ours comes with a price. And this is the thing: attending to your needs and moving yourself up your priority list can be done without compromising your loving, caring nature. Growing in self-confidence and self-belief and choosing the people you want in your life, doesn’t mean that you stop caring. Quiet the opposite. …
Permission to pause
Most of us have very busy lives. In our society, doing and achieving seem to be what life is about, what matters and what give us a sense of identity, satisfaction, and meaning. So, it is not surprising that as individuals, most of us feel lost and bored when we are not doing. We spent a big part of our …
Shedding old leaves
There comes a time in life when the baggage we carry is weighing a bit too much. There comes a time when all that worrying, the overthinking, the people pleasing, the fears, the comparing, the self-doubt and second guessing, the perfectionism are getting SO MUCH in the way of things, in the way of the work we crave, the relationships …
Making peace with the person you really are
We humans tend to normalise situations and feelings. It’s a survival mechanism. For many years, as long as I can remember, I thought comparing myself to others and falling short was the way I was and perhaps the way other people were too. I got so used to identifying with that way of being that the idea of things being …
It doesn’t need to be all or nothing
Feelings of falling short and not measuring up get in the way of action and thus in the way of pursuing what we want in life. But life doesn’t need to be all or nothing. You don’t need to be an A+ student all the time. You don’t need to get it right straight away. In some situations, good enough …
This is what feeling enough is really like
If our self-esteem and sense of worth are shaky, having the courage to go for what you want in life is basically an impossible task. Lacking assertiveness, self-esteem, and self-worth usually go hand in hand with a risk-averse personality. Difficult to know which goes 1st In the work I do with my clients, we start with the core which is …
Stay in your own lane
Stay in your own lane. You have heard me saying before that the relationship we have with ourselves shapes every single area of our lives, from relationships to work, even health. If that relationship is healthy, you are able to accept yourself as you are, imperfections (if such things exist other than in our minds) and all. One of the …
Pure gold and goodness
Self loving-kindness The greatest gift you can give to yourself and others and yet the greatest challenge. If self-deprecating thoughts are your norm. If you are feeling not quite capable, lovable, enough, deserving of love and good things coming your way. If comparison with others or approval from others, him in particular, was or is the way you measure you value …
Your emotional inner-core strength
What we tolerate is the way we are teaching others how they can treat us. For some of us, especially women, it can be really hard to assert ourselves. Especially if we are “people pleasers” or “conflict or confrontation avoiders” or both. If our self-esteem and sense of worth is shaky, asserting ourselves is basically an impossible task. Because assertiveness, …
Relationships as teachers
Let me introduce you to my greatest teacher: my husband. For those of us willing and open to do the inner work and the learning, the challenges that arise from intimate relationships can be the greatest teacher. And the lessons can be tough, lol. The “learning is process” requires courage. Patience. Kindness. Love Humility. The courage to listen.Really listen. The courage to look with …