The greatest gift you can give to yourself and others and yet the greatest challenge.
If self-deprecating thoughts are your norm.
If you are feeling not quite capable, lovable, enough, deserving of love and good things coming your way.
If comparison with others or approval from others, him in particular, was or is the way you measure you value and worth.
I hear you.
You are not alone.
It is actually a pandemic in the West, one the Dalai Lama was puzzled to know about (as a side note, in Buddhism self-love is the seed of compassion for others)
So when it comes to relationship, this is what I have learnt:
That happy relationships start with oneself.
And that that continuous disempowering conversation with yourself is getting in your own way and in the way of your relationships.
If you don’t like who you are, if you don’t have friendliness towards yourself you will try to be someone else, to conform to an ideal idea of who you’d like to be or who you think he would like you to be.
I tried that. It was hard work and it didn’t work.
My current favourite mantra:
The words that matter the most are the ones you say to yourself
And the approval you need the most is your own.
Stop giving yourself a hard time and just be you.
And if you don’t know what being you means because you feel confused and perhaps have got a bit lost along the way please do not delay the wonderful adventure of finding out.
You will be amazed of what you find- pure gold and goodness
Please get in touch if you need someone to hold your hand along the journey
In loving kindness
Photo: Monil Andharia