Keeping prioritising other people’s needs at the expense of ours comes with a price. And this is the thing: attending to your needs and moving yourself up your priority list can be done without compromising your loving, caring nature. Growing in self-confidence and self-belief and choosing the people you want in your life, doesn’t mean that you stop caring. Quiet the opposite. …
Permission to pause
Most of us have very busy lives. In our society, doing and achieving seem to be what life is about, what matters and what give us a sense of identity, satisfaction, and meaning. So, it is not surprising that as individuals, most of us feel lost and bored when we are not doing. We spent a big part of our …
Shedding old leaves
There comes a time in life when the baggage we carry is weighing a bit too much. There comes a time when all that worrying, the overthinking, the people pleasing, the fears, the comparing, the self-doubt and second guessing, the perfectionism are getting SO MUCH in the way of things, in the way of the work we crave, the relationships …
TV and the Butterfly effect
A few years ago I decided to stop watching the news. And we don’t have a TV anymore. I still like to be informed of what is going on in the world. This morning I scanned the news on my iPhone, as I do daily. It was depressing. The Ukrainian war, the risk of another nuclear accident, the floods in …
Making peace with the person you really are
We humans tend to normalise situations and feelings. It’s a survival mechanism. For many years, as long as I can remember, I thought comparing myself to others and falling short was the way I was and perhaps the way other people were too. I got so used to identifying with that way of being that the idea of things being …
4 steps to Setting Healthy Boundaries
In my group Program, Loving your Imperfect Self, we have been working on personal boundarie. Often, we may not know what boundaries are or how to set them, especially if we have a story of having had them violated repeatedly over the years. Think of your boundaries as some sort of guidelines or set of rules that show others how …
It doesn’t need to be all or nothing
Feelings of falling short and not measuring up get in the way of action and thus in the way of pursuing what we want in life. But life doesn’t need to be all or nothing. You don’t need to be an A+ student all the time. You don’t need to get it right straight away. In some situations, good enough …
This is what feeling enough is really like
If our self-esteem and sense of worth are shaky, having the courage to go for what you want in life is basically an impossible task. Lacking assertiveness, self-esteem, and self-worth usually go hand in hand with a risk-averse personality. Difficult to know which goes 1st In the work I do with my clients, we start with the core which is …
Decisions
Not feeling enough can greatly impact our capacity to make decisions. We may overthink. We may not trust our judgment or our ability to make the “right” decision. We may fear committing to just one outcome and, therefore, not leaving all our options open.I am an overthinker and very indecisive person. I have always been but that trend is changing. …
I cast a spell on myself
More often than not, we carry our “not enoughness” in silence. You would be surprised to know how many people you admire and see as an example of self-confidence and success are carrying inside the “not enough” burden. And the more successful the more deeply buried. Almost like shame. In my healing practice, I have come across many successful and …