More often than not, we carry our “not enoughness” in silence. You would be surprised to know how many people you admire and see as an example of self-confidence and success are carrying inside the “not enough” burden. And the more successful the more deeply buried. Almost like shame. In my healing practice, I have come across many successful and …
Stay in your own lane
Stay in your own lane. You have heard me saying before that the relationship we have with ourselves shapes every single area of our lives, from relationships to work, even health. If that relationship is healthy, you are able to accept yourself as you are, imperfections (if such things exist other than in our minds) and all. One of the …
Pure gold and goodness
Self loving-kindness The greatest gift you can give to yourself and others and yet the greatest challenge. If self-deprecating thoughts are your norm. If you are feeling not quite capable, lovable, enough, deserving of love and good things coming your way. If comparison with others or approval from others, him in particular, was or is the way you measure you value …
Your emotional inner-core strength
What we tolerate is the way we are teaching others how they can treat us. For some of us, especially women, it can be really hard to assert ourselves. Especially if we are “people pleasers” or “conflict or confrontation avoiders” or both. If our self-esteem and sense of worth is shaky, asserting ourselves is basically an impossible task. Because assertiveness, …
Relationships as teachers
Let me introduce you to my greatest teacher: my husband. For those of us willing and open to do the inner work and the learning, the challenges that arise from intimate relationships can be the greatest teacher. And the lessons can be tough, lol. The “learning is process” requires courage. Patience. Kindness. Love Humility. The courage to listen.Really listen. The courage to look with …
Debunk your own story
I was talking to a client this morning and reminding her of an important message. That she was enough. And so are you. No matter how many mistakes you think you have made, not matter how many times someone else has tried to put you down or make you feel less than, you are enough. Enoughnness is our birthright. Babies feel enough. You …
Complete, just as you are
Just a little reminder… You are a whole person in yourself. You don’t need anyone to complete you (look at the millions of happy singles in the world). The people in our lives, including partners, husbands, children, boyfriends, friends, family, add tremendous value, meaning, richness, love, happiness to our lives but I’d highly recommend not to make them the centre …
Secrets
Giving yourself permission to feel whatever you are feeling is crucial in order to heal and move on after a breakup. But as important as feeling it is sharing those feelings and emotions. I used to be really good at keeping it all to myself. I was the bearer of so many secrets, things I had done, felt, said or …
On boundaries
The boundaries you set for yourself are as important as the ones you set for him or others. And this is particularly important while you are healing from a breakup or a divorce. If boundaries are all about showing people how to treat you with respect. Are you treating yourself with that same respect? Things like: Being firm yet gentle …
Give yourself time
Breakup. Divorce. Separation. Whether you have already left or have been left, recently or time ago. Whether you are in the final stages of a divorce after challenging years. Or want to leave behind a relationship that is no longer working, and perhaps hasn’t worked for a long time, and are in the process of building up the strength, confidence …