What we tolerate is the way we are teaching others how they can treat us.
For some of us, especially women, it can be really hard to assert ourselves. Especially if we are “people pleasers” or “conflict or confrontation avoiders” or both.
If our self-esteem and sense of worth is shaky, asserting ourselves is basically an impossible task.
Because assertiveness, self-esteem, self-worth and personal boundaries, are all part of the same pack, the same bundle.
You usually get all 4 for the price of one.
When you begin to change one, the others begin to change too.
In the work I do with my clients, we start with the core which is that sense of self-worth and enoughness.
There is so much that needs to be said about the benefits of befriending our ego and our sense of self in a healthy way.
Because once that relationship with the self begins to change, once these amazing, extraordinary women start to realise that by accepting unacceptable behaviour from others, they are behaving in an unacceptable and sometimes abusive way with themselves, clarity dawns on them.
They begin to see and act from a place of power and wisdom. And do and say things they never thought themselves capable of.
As this inner core of who they are gets revealed, they realise that they are greater, stronger, wiser, bigger, braver than they have been given themselves credit for.
And they can see so many proofs of that bravery and strength in the lives they had previously disregarded.
That emotional inner core strength is the philosopher’s stone for transformation and fulfilment.
For a life they are in charge of.
They begin to take full responsibility for their life, and most importantly, they become self-accountable making inner questioning, inner confidence and inner kindness their medicines.
Curious to know if this strikes a chord with you.
Photo: Sharon McCutcheon