Is reaching out for support to help you get through this painful divorce or breakup difficult for you?
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
I was the same.
Many women of the women who reach up to me are the same.
Asking for support was a huge and courageous step to take.
A step some of them have taken for the first time in their lives.
Despite feeling that this heartbreak was one of the most stressful and painful things they have ever experienced.
They were holding back.
So perhaps you too are holding back.
You feel that asking for help is a sign of weakness and, as a strong and capable woman, you SHOULD “get over” this on your own.
You are trying to convince yourself that it is now as bad.
You don’t want to bother other people with your problems.
Your fear being seen as needy.
You are used to be the pillar of support for others, not to the one who’s being supported.
You feel ashamed.
You feel like investing on yourself is indulgent; you don’t feel deserving, although you could spend that money to find help for somebody else you care about.
Perhaps it is a matter of trust and you don’t know to whom to reach out.
Perhaps it is something else.
Most likely, it is a combination of all.
But here is the bottom line.
As a society, it is perfectly OK to ask for help when it comes down to physical health.
But as far as our emotional or mental health go, it is a completely different matter.
We have no education on how to be emotionally and mentally balanced and healthy.
On how to be vulnerable.
On how to process, share, and deal with, strong emotions, loss and trauma.
As if vulnerability and strength were opposites.
As if asking for help was a sign of weakness.
So, when it comes down to your breakup or divorce, you are somehow expected to cope on our own.
Despite the fact that divorce and a separation rank as number 2 and 3 in the The Holmes and Rahe Stress Scale.
And, do you know what I see?
I see women suffering in silence, going through a great deal of pain, desperation, confusion, hopeless.
Feeling terribly lonely and disconnected.
Why would you do this to yourself?
Why simply cope when you can heal?
You deserve to be happy again, to find love, to feel confident and whole, to move on and have the life you want to have, to HEAL that beautiful and generous heart of yours.
I certainly don’t want to do YOU a disservice.
This is why and showing up here today.
to remind you that holding back from asking for help may very well be getting in the way of your recovery and preventing you from moving own.
You can do this.
And you are not alone
With lots of love xoxo
Photo courtesy of Jean Gerber