I used to find it really hard to express my feelings, to show vulnerability and reach out for support.
I guess since an early age I learnt to cope on my own.
Not because I couldn’t have had support.
But because I didn’t want to cause any trouble or be a burden.
Plus, in my mind, asking for help and showing vulnerability was equal to being weak.
Something I absolutely didn’t want to be.
So, even when hurt, particularly in relationships, I used to keep a brave front.
I’d pretend they hadn’t hurt me, that I didn’t care.
And I believed it.
I was fine, I told myself.
The problems were outside me.
Denial became the norm.
But of course that wasn’t the reality.
The reality was pain, frustration, disappointments.
And they were accumulating.
A breakup woke me up.
I was strong, yes, but was that “strength” that once protected me still serving me?
Or was it rather going against me?
I had reached a point of total disconnection with myself.
Who was I?
The person I thought I was began to fall apart.
And I began to feel
To feel my heart
To feel that I WASN’T fine
And that was OK.
To search for resources to support me.
That was the beginning of my homecoming
A lifelong commitment with no turning back
That I totally recommend 💖