Homecoming

Flor Taboada blog, Emotional healing, Healing, Heartbreak, Self-care

I used to find it really hard to express my feelings, to show vulnerability and reach out for support.
I guess since an early age I learnt to cope on my own.
Not because I couldn’t have had support.

But because I didn’t want to cause any trouble or be a burden.

Plus, in my mind, asking for help and showing vulnerability was equal to being weak.

Something I absolutely didn’t want to be.

So, even when hurt, particularly in relationships, I used to keep a brave front.

I’d pretend they hadn’t hurt me, that I didn’t care.

And I believed it.
I was fine.

The problems were outside me.

Denial became the norm.
But of course that wasn’t the reality.
The reality was pain, frustration, disappointments.
And they were accumulating.
A breakup woke me up.
I was strong, yes, but was that “strength” that once protected me still serving me?

Or was it rather going against me?
I had reached a point of total disconnection with myself.
Who was I?
The person I thought I was began to fall apart.

And I began to feel

To feel my heart
To feel that I wasn’t fine

And that was OK.

To search for resources to support me.

That was the beginning of my homecoming
A lifelong commitment with no turning back
That I totally recommend 💖