A divorce or a breakup can rock self-esteem to the core.

Years ago, my own breakup certainly rocked mine (already wobbly) for a long time.

From blaming myself and feeling like a total failure to not being good enough, falling short (always) and feeling that there was definitely something wrong with me. It was really difficult.

And I see the same struggles in the women I work with.

Author Jack Canfield said that self-esteem is made up primarily of two things: feeling lovable and feeling capable.

If you don’t like yourself you won’t feel deserving of love.
And I’m not talking only about romantic love here but being loved, accepted and appreciated in general for who you are and as you are in any given moment.

If you feel you aren’t good enough and you don’t have faith in yourself and your ability to overcome your challenges. If your mind keeps replaying (and believing) over and over again the same self-deprecating thoughts, it’s going to be difficult to get better, to heal, and move towards the life you want.

As a gentle reminder, there are many factors at play in a relationship and if it didn’t work out don’t make it all about you. You definitely aren’t a failure because of that ??‍♀️

Remember that our lives are work in progress and, if we are willing do the inner work, painful experiences have the greatest potential for waking us up and bringing about great transformation.

So my lovely friend, I’m curious ? where are you today in the feeling lovable and capable scale? If the scale is low, ?what small step can you take to be a little kinder with that amazing ? person you see in the mirror every day? (Yes, that’s you!).

With love

Flor xx

Photo courtesy of Reagan Freeman