In order to recover and get back on your feet after a heartbreak you need to start taking care of yourself and your needs.
This especially applies if you are a caring person by nature, used to put everyone else’s need first, including his!
So this isn’t about him anymore but about YOU.
I consider self- care to be the 1st Foundation of Healing.
It really is.
Self-care is not just the latest thing everyone is talking about.
I think a better way of calling it is “self-nurturing or self-nourishment” time.
For some people, especially women, there is a bit of guilt involved, as if taking time for ourselves was something selfish.
That’s the way it used to be for me.
And I had to learn how to do it.
But looking back, I realise that my self-care is what made healing possible in that instance and in all the instances since.
That was actually the game changer.
So, self-care is necessary for everyone, but most especially in times of grief and distress.
It involves looking after yourself and beginning to identify what makes you feel calmer, more peaceful and happier and what doesn’t.
From the things you eat, the way you spent your free time, the people you see, the thoughts you have, the tone of the conversations you are having with yourself inside your head, the way you deal/process/express your emotions, to what gives meaning to your life and how you find hope, support and courage to carry on.
Here are few tips that have helped me and my clients make “me time” guilt-free and enjoyable:
1- Make it manageable- do one thing a day, as little as 20 minutes a day can work wonders;
2- Make it regular (aka daily), block that time in your diary if necessary;
3- Make it enjoyable and fun (do something you like, if you don’t like yoga, don’t do yoga just because your friends think yoga is great)
4- Make it flexible (don’t beat yourself up if you skip it- just start again the next day)
5- Once a month, more if you can, put yourself in the hands of your favorite complementary therapist for a full self-care treat