You have a choice

Flor Taboada Breakup, Emotional healing, Heartbreak, Relationships, Self-empowerment

You have a choice

Think of this heartbreak as a catalyst.

There are two ways of looking at our stories, even the most painful ones. 

One way is to play the victim of the circumstances, blaming, feeling sorry for ourselves, powerless, small.

The other way is when we turn our story around.  And use it as a tool to heal, grow, learn, empower, transform. 

We can be the heroine of our own story.

I used to be good at the 1st approach.

A painful end of a relationship I deeply cared about opened my eyes to the possibility of having another perspective.

The perspective of growth.

It took courage.

It will take courage for you to take full responsibility for your life and acknowledge the role you played in the relationship. 

And responsibility is not blame.

It is acknowledgement without judging.

How perhaps by making yourself small, by giving too much to him and the relationship and very little to yourself, by putting your own needs, dreams and desires in the back burner for a long time you may have completely forgotten what they were or even doubt if you are entitled and deserve to have dreams at all for you as an individual.

Many of the women I work with started in a place very similar to this. 

Different scenarios, of course, but there seem to be underlying theme of them not feeling deserving to have what they want, both in terms of a romantic relationship but also in other areas,  of not believing in themselves, of getting into relationships and losing their sense of who they are or what they want.

So my friend, if you are navigating right now the aftermath of a painful divorce or breakup please remember that you have a choice.

To open up or to close down. 

That this may just a time like no other to get you own house in order and stop using him or others as an excuse standing in the way of your own happiness.

To start caring for yourself, to honour your needs, dreams and desires, to heal at a deep level so you can move on with confidence and clarity into a promising future. 

What role would you like to play in your own story? 

Photo Evie Shaffer